You know, all those illegal aliens Joe Biden invited into the country during his presidential run? They're here. I haven't seen this many single men since they dug up Kat's backyard. But Mayor Adams, he's not thrilled the policies of a Democrat president are now biting him in the a** like he's backed into a hungry Brian Stelter. So on Monday, Adams announced that up to 50 churches or faith-based spaces for fans of weird needless euphemisms will soon shelter up to 19 single adult illegal aliens each. So that's 50 times 19. What's that amount to Kat?
JUST KIDDING, YOU'RE A CHICK!
I'm sorry. Unnecessary, really. We'll have a meeting after. So I think that's less than a thousand but last week, over twice that many arrived in New York. So any other bright ideas, Mr. Mayor? Do you have a vision?
VIDEO OF MAYOR ERIC ADAMS: My vision to take the next step to this [is] go to the faith-based locales and then move to a private residence. They are residents who are suffering right now because of economic challenges. They have spare rooms. They have locales and if we can find a way to get over the 30-day rule and other rules that government has in its place...
So you got that? Move the migrants to homes where current residents are already suffering. Well, at least I hope it doesn't cost a lot like $4.2 billion.
ERIC ADAMS: We can take that $4.2 billion, 4.3 maybe now, that we potentially, we have to spend and we can put it back in the pockets of everyday New Yorkers, everyday houses of worship, instead of putting it in the pockets of corporations. And some of those corporations come from outside our city.
$4.2 billion, maybe $4.3 billion? Hey, who's counting? Well, we are. And that's a ***** buttload. Excuse my French. And we're going to use it to pay people to let dudes crash on your couch? Have you seen some of the hotel conditions where the migrants are currently staying? It's almost as disgusting as my toilet after eating a quart of rocky road. I'm lactose intolerant. Oh, you think that's funny? And besides, couldn't you already rent your rooms out and you could do a background check on your tenants? But here, how does that even work? Adams expects you to embrace the government paying for a stranger to take your son's top bunk bed. It makes me yearn for the good old days when we sent migrants upstate so they can cross into Canada illegally but once they heard Nickelback, they begged to be shipped to Greenland.
But the Democrats' reality is always the opposite of their earlier virtue signal. They like pretending they'll help, but they don't. It's like when I pretend to lift when I'm a pallbearer. But you should respect Mayor Adams, at least for walking the walk. So then, how about the mayor's house? That has spare rooms, I'm sure. Well, when asked about it, he actually said, "If it doesn't go against legal protocols… I don't have a problem if I could put a migrant family in Gracie Mansion." Wow, that's not bad. They just have to dump a bucket of water on the De Blasio's so they'll leave. But none of this makes any damn sense. Like, when do we stop paying? How many people do we take in? Will they get to stay longer or forever? Can you kick them out if they keep eating your Funyons?
And also, have we lost our damn minds? I mean, if there was just some process that could deal with illegal immigration, I don't know, something like a wall or maybe just follow the damn laws. Meanwhile, on the other coast controlled by Democrats, Sacramento's freaking out over 16 illegals, 16, flown in on a private jet. First of all, a private jet. Hell, I've seen 16 in a flatbed truck. But now the Dems' hair is on fire. Especially this guys.'
Which makes sense. Maybe stop putting actual grease in your hair. And guess who he's blaming? "Ron DeSantis, you small, pathetic man. This isn't Martha's Vineyard kidnaping charges?" So, can you imagine the governor of the most screwed-up state in the union calling the governor of the most successful state pathetic? That's like a last-place team jeering the league champs. I would be more specific, but I know nothing about sports and he's calling private jets that people willingly get on, as kidnapping. So I guess that makes our entire airline industry a human trafficking cartel. I suppose Dems only support flying illegals when it's done secretly in the dead of night.
The problem with Gavin – his residents are flying too... Straight out of California. The homeless problem is so bad in Cali they're going to change its motto from the Golden State to the Golden Shower State. So don't worry, Gavin. As soon as these 16 illegals get there and see the squalor, they'll head to Florida, too. So in sum, when Dems ship illegals somewhere else, it's good, when DeSantis does it, it's a hate crime and the White House is happy to echo that notion.
WHITE HOUSE PRESS SECRETARY KARINE JEAN-PIERRE: I've said it many times from here repeatedly from this podium, that busing or flying migrants around the country without any coordination with the federal government. We've talked about this- state or local officials as well- is dangerous and unacceptable because you're putting people's lives at risk. And it's dangerous and unacceptable because you're actually putting a lot of pressure on these states and local and local areas.
She's stupid. Unintentionally honest, though, the message is clear. If you live in a border state with millions of people pouring in, Good luck to you. But don't you dare drop them off in blue cities because that's dangerous and funny how honest that really is.
