Good evening and welcome to Tucker Carlson Tonight. Did you watch the State of the Union address last night? We do not blame you if you took a pass on that. Tuning in was a grim task. 80-year-old Joe Biden shuffling, stiff legged and bewildered to the podium, a husk held together by Botox and enough amphetamines from the White House doctor to read the slogans written for him by unelected Obama acolytes who actually run the government. This is our President, ladies and gentlemen. It's always pretty hard to believe when you see it. The whole scene is so awful, so degrading to our once proud country, it cannot end soon enough. 

But the moment was, we will confess at times, pretty amusing. At one point, the eminent TV doctor, Dr. Jill, who really ought to have her own show on Bravo dispensing sassy and empowering medical advice, walked over to Kamala Harris's husband, Doug Emhoff, and kissed him deeply, square in the mouth without a mask. Something that never, ever happens at his house. What was that about? There was an unmistakable 1970s-suburban-Connecticut-key-party vibe to it. Kind of a John Cheever story, old school stuff, except they let bystanders film the whole thing. So clearly, these people are exhibitionists too. Naughty.

There's a lot going on behind the scenes in the Biden administration, a lot of which we don't want to know more about. But where do these people find the time for high jinks? Dr. Jill, for example, is extremely, extremely busy. Way busier than you are. According to her husband, Dr. Jill is working day and night to drag this country out of its medieval ignorance. And that's not an easy task. Watch.

TUCKER CARLSON: AMERICA's PROBLEMS ARE FIXABLE, BUT PROFOUND

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JOE BIDEN: Jill, my wife, who teaches full-time, has an expression. I hope I get it right, kid. "Any nation that out-educates us is going to out-compete us."

Wait a second. Dr. Jill is teaching, quote, "full-time." How many hours a week is full-time? And where is this happening? What school or university or madrassa is she teaching at? What is she teaching? Can we sign up for her class? How come we didn't know any of this until last night? "Any nation that out-educates us is going to out-compete us," says Dr. Jill. And that's a fair point. Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Bravo, Dr. Jill, bravo. The question is, how shall we as a nation respond to Dr. Jill's clarion call for action. Obviously, we need to shut down the schools for an entire year because unionized teachers feel like longer vacations, and then get rid of all standardized tests because racism. That's the solution. 

It turns out that Dr. Jill, who like an awful lot of community college geniuses from Delaware who've received advanced degrees in, quote, "education," she has an awful lot of good ideas. We ought to listen to her more. Unfortunately, we don't often get the chance because she's always teaching. So that really was the highlight of the evening, Dr. Jill making out with the vice president's husband and then Joe Biden bragging about a job she doesn't actually have. Pretty hard not to find that funny.

And then there was Biden, himself. Now, the President's mental condition is either scary and depressing, deeply alarming, or absolutely hilarious, depending upon your mood. Last night, for lack of other entertainment options, we decided to find it funny. So take in this steaming pile of word puree and see if you can make sense of it. 

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JOE BIDEN: As we made clear last week, if China threatens our sovereignty, we will act to protect our country. And we did. But in the past two years, democracies have become stronger, not weaker. Autocracies grow weaker, not stronger. Name me a world leader who changed places with Xi Jinping. Name me one. Name me one.

We shot down their balloon, so name me a world leader who can decipher what Joe Biden just said. Name me one. See, you can't. Friends, democracy is winning tonight. Now, we have no idea what any of that means, any more than Xi Jinping does. But the trained seals in the crowd loved it. They clapped consistent with their species. Actually, sorry, that is unfair to seals. There's not a seal in the ocean or even at SeaWorld who would wear an "I love abortion" pin. That is too low even for marine mammals. They may eat live fish, but they're not ghouls. Congressional Democrats, by contrast, are ghouls.

Take a look at this pin, which has replaced the American flag on their lapels. Notice that the "o" in abortion is in the shape of a heart. They literally love abortion. Now, let's set aside the politics and ask an honest question. Who loves abortion? Honestly, who loves abortion? Maybe you think abortion should be legal, but do you love abortion? Do you think abortion is a wonderful, affirming act you feel so proud of you brag about it with jewelry? If you feel that way, you should know that you are not defending a medical procedure. You wouldn't say that about an appendectomy. No, you are promoting an ancient religious right called human sacrifice. That's what this is, promoting human sacrifice. Let's stop lying about it. It's very obvious now.

And speaking of death cults, Joe Biden made his case last night for the sexual mutilation of children.

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JOE BIDEN: It's also passed a bipartisan equality act to ensure LGBTQ Americans, especially transgender young people, can live with safety and dignity.

First, you want to say, "Whoa, pause, Mr. President. Define every letter in the acronym and what they all mean." Of course, he couldn't. But he is pointing to an occurring reality in our country. There are hospitals in the United States, hard as it is to believe, that are right now performing mastectomies on little girls in the name of gender ideology. They're castrating children and then giving them drugs that produce sterility and osteoporosis. And they're bragging about it. 

Now, this has happened with adults for a long time. It's never happened at scale with children and no one's ever bragged about it. But the Democratic Party now is. Not just endorsing it, not just supporting it silently, by calling it an affirmative good. Joe Biden, the guy who showered with his daughter, causing her to develop sexual compulsions as an adult, calls the sexual mutilation of children, "safety and dignity." That's dark, really dark.

STATE OF THE UNION REACTION: SEE WHAT HARD-WORKING AMERICANS THOUGHT OF PRESIDENT BIDEN'S ADDRESS

But it got worse, actually. The humor stopped and the darkness descended. Joe Biden proceeded to talk about the recent death of Tyre Nichols in Memphis. Now, you'll remember that he was killed by five police officers, all of whom were Black, as was he. So the takeaway from that episode may be worth knowing about, but it has nothing to do with race, at least not directly. Everyone was the same color. And yet last night, Joe Biden used that sad episode, with Tyre Nichols' family present in the room, to advance the lie. The one you hear so often, that the white middle class is the single greatest threat to America and especially to Black people. Watch this. 

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JOE BIDEN: Most of us in here have never had to have the talk, the talk that brown and Black parents have had to have with their children. Beau, Hunter, Ashley, my children, I never had to have to talk with them. I never had to tell them if a police officer pulls you over, turn your interior lights on right away. Don't reach for your license. Keep your hands on the steering wheel. Imagine having to worry like that every single time your kid got in a car.

Now it is fair that they don't worry like that in the Biden family. Both of Biden's surviving children have had run-ins with the police repeatedly. Hunter Biden left a crack pipe and his I.D. in a rental car, but no one ever followed up on it because he was the son of a powerful politician. Maybe Joe Biden should be grateful for that, but it's not a racial issue. But he's saying that it is. The police, African-Americans, are trying to murder you because you're Black. That's unifying the country. Police are responsible for all the violence in Black communities. That's his message.

Now, that is not only a lie, provably a lie, because reliable statistics exist. It's a lie that's caused a lot of people, including a lot of Black Americans, to die over the last three years because police in many places have stopped enforcing the law and in others have simply quit. And they're replaced by total mediocrities and crazy, violent people like the cops who beat Tyre Nichols to death in Memphis. 

How do you think they got that job? Because normal people quit. That's why. Because they didn't want to work in an industry that's under attack unfairly from the President of the United States. And now Joe Biden is repeating that lie and on and on and on. At one point, he claimed January 6 was an "act of insurrection," and that it was an insurrectionist, not a hippie nudist with a BLM sign outside his home, who attacked Paul Pelosi last year. Do you remember that?

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JOE BIDEN: The last few years, our democracy has been threatened and attacked, put at risk, put to the test in this very room on January 6. And then just a few months ago, an unhinged big lie assailant unleashed political violence at the home of the then speaker of the House of Representatives, using the very same language the insurrectionists used as they stalked these halls and chanted on January 6.

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The insurrectionists. People who were justly upset because they felt that the 2020 election was not level. Which it was not, by the way, which it was not. And we know that for a fact now that we've seen the Twitter Files, which prove that the Big Tech companies took a side in that election and we didn't have a free and fair election, certainly not a free press. But people who were upset about that are now insurrectionists. Nonviolent protesters are insurrectionists, etc., etc., etc.

And the lies just kept coming to the point where it was deeply frustrating to watch. At one point, Biden claimed that NATO was fighting against Putin's aggression, even though we now know, thanks to the Israeli Prime Minister, that it was NATO, the United States, in other words, that prevented a truce from being signed between Russia and Ukraine last year. As Joe Biden said that, a lie, Mitch McConnell clapped and smiled wearing his Ukraine flag tie. But maybe the most egregious lie is one that affects every American. Biden claimed that our economy could not be doing better because he's an economic wizard. Watch this.

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JOE BIDEN: We're better positioned than any country on Earth right now, but we have more to do. But here at home, inflation is coming down. Here at home, gas prices, are down $1.50 from their peak. Food inflation is coming down, not fast enough, but coming down. Inflation has fallen every month for the last six months.

So those were very specific claims about the economy, a lot of which is easy to measure.